Writing is Hard

“Acknowledge that writing is hard.  How am I going to make writing happen?”

Writing is hard.  That is an understatement.  And from what I have read writing is hard for the experienced writer as well as the novice.  I am actually pleased to see that it is common among all writers to need a sacred place to write.  A place that is both quiet and beautiful, filled with objects of love and inspiration.  I find that I generate ideas best when I am both alone and away from home.  The best of my ideas usually happen when I drive.  This is almost meditative for me, the energy is all mine and there are very little distractions beyond the autonomic traffic.  The hard part is I am in a car.  I can’t write anything down and have to rely on my perpetually distracted memory to remember those ideas and write them down when I can.

So writing is hard, I acknowledge that, now how can I make writing happen?  Well I think I have taken the first step, after all I am here, writing.  I have set aside three hours three days a week to write.  To leave my home, go to a coffee shop and write.  I need to leave the house to write well.  My home is filled with the beautiful but chaotic energy of my family.  While I love that energy in a way, it is also very draining on me.  At home I don’t actually want to do anything, I feel less creative for the most part.  It is not a place conducive to a good creative environment.  So Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday I go to Caribou Coffee and I write.  This is only my second day and so far so good.  Even though this will work for now I know I will eventually need something more private and personal.  I also would like to be able to do this at least five days a week, but I will be content with three days for now.

Why I Write

"Write about your need for a creative life or simply your need to write.

Why do you do it?  What needs are fulfilled through it?"

For some reason I have yet to understand I have this great driving need to write.  I do not know why I have this drive, I have never considered myself a writer.  I have an obsession with journals, I collect them as much as I can with the intension of filling them with all of my crazy thoughts and dreams but this never happens.  All of my journals have about ten to twenty pages written in and then they sit on the shelf lonely and dusty.  Yet I still buy them, it is a need, a gnawing need deep down inside of me that I do not quite know how to satisfy.

One kind of writing I know I am good at is religious writing.  I can create a ritual, a celebration, lessons, or even a whole new tradition without really even trying.  I think this should be classified as a gift but I cannot truly see the benefit of this ability beyond a very small scope influence.  And I want something bigger, something grander to pour my talents and desires into.  I guess that’s the megalomaniac in me.

Still this need is here, without direction, without talent, without the know-how, I still feel the need to write.  I want to write!  But what do I write and how do I do it?  Can I write fiction stories?  Can I write an autobiography?  Is the only thing I am good for is religious writing?  How do I make that work for me?

I guess that question leads me to my end goals.  I want to be a published author.  Or do I?  I think it would be wonderful to be able to be an actual “Writer” pouring my heart and soul and strange and morbid thoughts unto the pages of public awareness.  Bending and shaping and twisting the minds of others, challenging them to see the world in new and different ways.  This is my end goal, to be a “Writer” and “Author” but how do I get there?

Well from what I read to become a “Writer” one must first write.  Go figure.  It sounds so simple.  I mean I am writing now and this is easy right?  Well this is just rambling about a subject that I got from another source, to me it has no meaning other than walking through my thoughts on paper.  Will it lead me down the path I want to go?  Can I get there if I keep at it?  I hope so.

Virtue - Conculsions

There are many worthy moral principles of which one can live there life by.  The list of moral virtues is an extensive one.  Narrowing down my personal list to seven was a daunting but enlightening task.  Why seven?  Because seven is the number of magick and mysticism and the number that I most closely connect with.  Seven virtues on which to base my "right actions" feels right to me.  Exploring these concepts has been an inner journey in exploring my humanity.

Silence is for me the foundation by which I can live my life.  In Silence we truly become aware of the world around us.  In Silence we learn, we feel, we connect, in ways that are not possible when we haven't stopped to pay attention.  Silence for me means to keep Silent, ie. shut my damn mouth and listen and also to find quiet places to ease the stress of my mind and heart.  Integrity on the other hand is a more active virtue and requires some actual effort on my part.  To be a person of Integrity I must always watch my actions and judgments.  I believe that practicing Silence helps to supports my Integrity.

Compassion is just something I was born with but it is no less worthy of being exalted to the status of a virtue.  When I had my son sixteen years ago I decided to consciously raise him with a sense of Compassion.  I can think of no other human quality so necessary to our communal existence.  When we lack Compassion we are then able to inflict the most unspeakable horrors onto others.  A lack of Compassion tears apart families, communities, and even the whole world.  We must be able to feel for the pain and suffering of others and we must have an internal need to help alleviate that pain and suffering.  Without Compassion we truly are no greater than the lowest of beasts.

As humans we are in a unique position to make conscious decisions on how we live and how we treat others.  For me the virtues of Hospitality and Service reflect our needs as a communal society.  I like to think on what it means to be a good host and a gracious guest, when done correctly everyone benefits.  And Serving those in need strengthens our bonds of community and friendship.  These are important to me in that they give me a goal to strive for as both Hospitality and Service are very active virtues.  I also think that in applying these virtues to my life it bring me a sense of Honor.  I do wish to be Honorable, I do wish to have a sense of pride in who and what I am and to extend that pride to my family and friends.  I want to be a true and just person of good character and I want to be able to enrich the lives of those who know me.

Lastly I contemplate Piety and what it means to be a pious person.  This one was initially hard because of the unspoken understanding that it reflects a persons relationship with a god.  But that is not the only or complete definition of Piety.  To be pious is to devote yourself to a high ideal, to a noble goal, to make the journey towards the stars.  I have many devotions, all which in my mind are noble and worthy.  I devote myself to my husband and our relationship, I devote myself to my children and becoming the best mother I can be, I devote myself to my Goddess and strive daily to walk the path She sets before me, and I devote myself to my community as teacher and Cleric giving to others the love and devotion they have given me.

So while courage, charity, discipline, generosity, patience, etc. are all worthy and noble virtues it is these seven that speak to me of how to be a person of good character.  In exploring these virtues I have learned what in life is most important for me to be and it has awakened within me a renewed sense of purpose and action.  Life is about the journey, the experience we have along the way.  We can walk the path of life blind and unaware of the influences around us and within us or we can walk the path intentionally stepping carefully as we learn, grow, experience, and become.