I wander though the world as in a dream. Each day more unreal to me than the last. The moments I spend awake seem like the dream, moments I must endure before the blessed reality of sleep takes me home once more.
Here I sit in a fog, a general confusion, for the workings of the world around me. My thoughts disjointed ramblings trying to make sense of it all. My senses betray me as I take it all in. The touch of this pen, my hand on the table, all illusions created for my benefit, for my torment.
Only in solitude do I find myself. Only alone away from the trappings of this age do I truly begin to feel at peace, whole. In the woods all themes become possible, all possibilities become clear. The trees in their ancient solitude appear as quiet companions, guarding and watching over me.
The cold wet earth beneath my feet holds its own secrets, its own special magic that lures me onward. It is only in the peaceful solitude, that moment we stop and listen to the sounds of nature around us, that we can experience the wonder of it all, the majesty and mystery that we continually deny ourselves in the human pursuit of advancement. Each day takes us further and further away from ourselves, from our connection to life itself.
Life as we know it is not real, it is a mass hallucination created out of fear of the unknown. We are born into the dream, taken from the womb and taught diligently how to un-become, how to loose our spirit and how to trudge our way through this made up existence.
But in dreaming we return, if only briefly, to reality. In dreaming we are freed from the constraints the world has imposed upon us and we can be who we were truly meant to be. Sitting alone in the forest is like a waking dream. It is a moment where we can remember the magic. Magic that we've been denied for so long. In solitude we loose the distractions and are free to find ourselves recaptured by the mystery that life was meant to be.
"Though the field of empty dreams I walk alone" sings Greenday. The melody capturing the rhythm of my heart. Here in the fading light of the day, on an earthen path through ancient trees, I walk alone. But here in the comfort of the close green wilderness I know that I am not alone.
As in the waking dream my surroundings become surreal. My senses are alive and aware of all that is around me. I feel the presence of the spirits of this place. Some quick and mischievous and some quiet and serene. They beckon to me, calling to my heart, pulling me onward.