Why I Write

"Write about your need for a creative life or simply your need to write.

Why do you do it?  What needs are fulfilled through it?"

For some reason I have yet to understand I have this great driving need to write.  I do not know why I have this drive, I have never considered myself a writer.  I have an obsession with journals, I collect them as much as I can with the intension of filling them with all of my crazy thoughts and dreams but this never happens.  All of my journals have about ten to twenty pages written in and then they sit on the shelf lonely and dusty.  Yet I still buy them, it is a need, a gnawing need deep down inside of me that I do not quite know how to satisfy.

One kind of writing I know I am good at is religious writing.  I can create a ritual, a celebration, lessons, or even a whole new tradition without really even trying.  I think this should be classified as a gift but I cannot truly see the benefit of this ability beyond a very small scope influence.  And I want something bigger, something grander to pour my talents and desires into.  I guess that’s the megalomaniac in me.

Still this need is here, without direction, without talent, without the know-how, I still feel the need to write.  I want to write!  But what do I write and how do I do it?  Can I write fiction stories?  Can I write an autobiography?  Is the only thing I am good for is religious writing?  How do I make that work for me?

I guess that question leads me to my end goals.  I want to be a published author.  Or do I?  I think it would be wonderful to be able to be an actual “Writer” pouring my heart and soul and strange and morbid thoughts unto the pages of public awareness.  Bending and shaping and twisting the minds of others, challenging them to see the world in new and different ways.  This is my end goal, to be a “Writer” and “Author” but how do I get there?

Well from what I read to become a “Writer” one must first write.  Go figure.  It sounds so simple.  I mean I am writing now and this is easy right?  Well this is just rambling about a subject that I got from another source, to me it has no meaning other than walking through my thoughts on paper.  Will it lead me down the path I want to go?  Can I get there if I keep at it?  I hope so.